Saturday, May 31, 2014

One in the Bank (adult)

So I recently have discovered the golden key to getting my husband to go shopping wherever I want without bitching or trying to rush me.
Its like the holy freaking grail and I can't believe how long it took me to figure it out.
We've been together 6 years and I've only mastered this in the past year.
I will admit that some of that is my fault.

The Holy Grail is to give him oral first.
Apparently if I blow him before shopping he will happily go wherever I pick lol

I had some hangups about blowing him though it was no fault of his.
I had a couple ex's before him that used to pressure me something awful to blow them and then when I would finally cave they would try to treat me like the men do in porn.
Purposely gagging me, pulling my hair, grabbing my head to try and like face fuck me. Looking back on the way they treated me it was obvious our relationship was doomed.
I should have bit them.

Completely turned me off to the idea of EVER having another penis in my mouth.

I had to work my way up to doing oral on him after those past experiences.
Thankfully the Mister was very understanding and did his best to be patient with me as I conquered my issues.

Now that I have gotten over all that I almost kicking myself for not doing it sooner lmao

We also do a thing called the blow job bank where I owe him a BJ if he does something for me that I really don't want to do like cleaning out the refrigerator, dealing with my mother when she hounds me on the phone all day, making a midnight run for milkshakes etc.

I heard a comedian mention something similar to this where his wife puts a blow job in the bank every time he does something nice around the house.
I call shenanigans on that one.
There is no way I am going to owe the Mister a BJ for taking out the garbage or putting away the dishes.
That is shit he should already be helping with.
Plus if Mister got a BJ for that kind of stuff I would owe him SOOOO many my jaw would drop off.
Also if you're going to do a BJ Bank type thing don't have more black out dates then an air service when you're trying to redeem miles.
That's just not fair PLUS it makes you come across as a ingrate.

I know its not for everyone and just because it works for us doesn't mean that it'll fit in your relationship.

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